I sat down outside to reread a book by Bukowski entitled Women. The book sent me into the over-thinking that I had tried so hard to avoid. I remembered my girl and how she was hours away heading back from a trip to assist her friend in a move. They were both coming back, Charlotte and her friend Meredith. I could invision the two of them in my fathers big red truck, the one that had formerly belonged to my grandfather John P. They would be flying at seventy plus miles an hour down highway seventy-seven by now, wind blowing their hair and catching their laughs and pulling them out the window. I enjoyed thinking of them laughing as I sat alone on my stoop in front of my little shop.

I sell skateboards and the like, I also paint and write and draw and bullshit enough to get by on nickels and dimes. It suites me but only because I really know nothing about saving and keeping track of money. I never was forced to have a real job as a kid, I just piddled around for my dad at his insurance office and there was little learned in that, besides learning that I did not want to sell insurance and that I hated the smell of old office buildings and those who payed their bills there. I remember the smell of the receipt books and the way the pen would bleed red all over the boxed you had to mark "Paid."

I'm getting depressed...again. I'll write more later on I guess.

Fat, happy, eyes, red, smoked out, and worn down by doing nothing. That's it.

ben jackson just wrote this one...

God is the man
Jesus loves everybody
You dont know what your saying
and I dont either.

-Ben Jackson

aint

well, i aint gonna gripe
no use for it at all
seeing as it dont pay for sheep
and could cause a freeforall
(breath)
jesus never did either
just got up and got to
prayers go to air
and wallets, they do too
(breath)
science has made headway
that will soundlessly lead to less
moneys all we got to count
since we forgot we're blessed
(breath)
aint it something, a site to see
when hard meets the times
toil and clouds rest as one
as we create the grime